The Other Reason

When I was told that I had cancer, I went into information-gathering mode. I was sure that I would find a book, a doctor, or a source on the internet that would put my fears to rest, and give me the guarantee that I was not going to have to leave the people I love. I was also so very fearful of each unavoidable step along the way: biopsies, diagnosis, receiving pathology reports, IV's, surgery, chemotherapy, hormone therapy, the seemingly never-ending fear of recurrance. The other reason I am writing is that I want people who are dealing with these fears to find my blog. I can honestly say that what I've experienced so far has been easier to cope with than my fears.

There were terrifying days between diagnosis day and conquering each step. The only relief I found was to cry myself to sleep, along side John who listened compassionately to every word. If I didn't have John to console me, I don't know, I can't fathom how I would have coped.