Impermanence

Having had cancer affects my decisions. The realization that all things that we have and all our experiences are not permanent, has me making decisions quite different than before cancer.

The idea of impermanence, which is an important Buddist concept, was difficult to accept at first. Boy I fought it hard. Some days I still do. Its natural to pretend that things will continue as they are. Or that unwanted changes are far in the future.

But after two years of wrestling with fear and reconciling my hard held beliefs with what is real, I've accepted the impermanence of life.

Rather than have a root canal to save a tooth, I did a cost-benefit analysis and along with recognition that my body is not meant to last forever, I had it pulled.

I get frustrated and consider taking it out on others but most of the time I remember that moments with my family and friends are limited.

I am fortunate, because I am not putting things off these days. There is no guarantee of next year. I don't believe that cancer is progressing in my body. I do believe that I may not have as much time as I need.

It's the truth. For everyone.

Wake up. Don't wait. Enjoy and appreciate each moment as best you can.