Trying

Lets just say I am trying. Trying meditation. Exercising every day. Trying not to eat anything bad. Trying to eat cancer-fighting foods at every opportunity. Trying to remember day-to-day what those foods are. Trying not to spend money in order to feel short term relief from fear. Trying not to drink. Trying to breathe. Trying to enjoy moments.

I need to make an appointment for my 6 month checkup. Really should do that. But I am too busy being preoccupied with controlling myself that it doesn't get done. It surprises me that they don't give you a sticker, like the oil change places do, to remind you that you need to get your ass back in to be checked for evidence of disease.

I have quite a bit of faith in my ability to make my body inhospitable to the growth of cancer cells. I understand now that we all have the makings of cancer in our body. Its up to our immune system to take down rouge cells before they gain traction. A cancer cell causes our immune system to inflame the area around it and tricks our body into building a special blood supply to feed it. It does not follow the rule of cell aptosis (cell death) that healthy normal cells follow. It multiplies instead and creates a larger and larger cancerous mass that starves healthy cells surrounding it.

I believe that by following a diet consisting of anti-inflamatory foods I am making my body less hospitable to cancer growth. Time will tell if I believe in false promises. The explanation makes sense to me though and I don't feel deprived with the diet. It's laid out in the book Anticancer (and many others).

I'm still scared shitless sometimes though. Thats just the way it is.