Its time I come clean. Not only have I had unwavering support from family and friends through my cancer ordeal but I have also kept a fragile emotional state in check by taking antidepressants.
I started taking them several weeks after diagnosis. I take Lexapro in the morning and Trazodone just before bed. These wonderful medications have given me a fresh new perspective each day and the ability to sleep soundly every night. I think that without Lexapro I would have fallen prey to deep depression. I needed something to help with paralyzing fear and a steady decline in my ability to cope. I did not get much sleep during the nights before starting Trazodone. Thats when my terror-filled thoughts were at their most extreme.
I think I'm ready to taper off using the medications and learn to deal with fear on my own. I'm halfing my Lexapro dose as a start. I suspect you'll be reading more posts about fear and uncertainty as I begin dealing with life without crutches.
About Me
- Laurie
- This blog begins a couple months after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Its best read from those early days to today. Click on the February link above to start from the beginning. My hope is to help others who are diagnosed. I understand your fear and trepidation of treatment and coming to grips with a dramatically changed future. Maybe reading another's story of moving through fear and despair toward acceptance and peace will help you by seeing that you are not alone with your battle. Email me at lpacemissoula@hotmail.com or post here if I can answer any questions or if you need support. I would be honored to help you. Diagnosed 11/8/2007, IDC, 1.9cm, Stage I, Grade 3, oncotype score of 37, 0/2 nodes with ITC's in 1 node, ER+/PR+, HER2-, bilateral mast & oophorectomy because BRCA2+, in the middle of 6 rounds of taxotere/cytoxan, then will have 5 years of Femara
1 comment:
Hey Laurie,
Don't be hard on yourself here. Crutches get people going. I've been taking medication to temper my anxiety, phobias, panic attacks, etc. for ten years now. It's been a change for the better for me -- completely.
We're all born with different wiring; I was born tightly wound!
I have certainly benefited from yoga, meditation, affirmations, etc., but when it comes down to it, I need a boost of serotonin too. Fortunately I don't have a chemical imbalance which causes diabetes or trigors asthma. But my meds do treat what physically ails me.
Love,
Leslie
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