Shaky

As the day of my checkup gets closer my body does funny things. I can keep the part of my brain that is in charge of logic pretty well under control. Only brief waves of worry piggy-back on my thoughts. My body doesn't listen to logic though, evidentally. It has its own way of worrying. My throat is tight and I notice every couple hours that my stomach is clenched like I'm preparing for a punch.

My fight-or-flight instinct is on high alert making panic a buddy of mine today. When I screw something up I panic inside. I wonder what I look like from the outside. Then I go into pandering mode. I want to make things better and end up feeling embarrassed of myself.

I am guessing though that everybody feels this at times. So I don't think I'm deficient because of my reactions. I think I would benefit from a support group though.