Waking Up

I am proud of my body. Its stunning to me to witness how it recuperates. Its sunny today in Missoula and in the new office that I have set up in our loft I can look out four different windows. I see snow covered mountains shimmering in the sun. Blue sky beyond.

I have a new job to start tomorrow. New adventures, new people and a renewal of my spirit which had grown somewhat depressed over the past couple of weeks.

I will take a nice long run in the sun this morning. Then a hot bath. What could be better? Its all down hill from here. In three weeks and four days I will have my last chemo treatment. I will be set free from many reminders of my new life with cancer.

I am also quite proud of my ability to accept cancer. I have honestly never questioned why it happened to me. I accepted it and moved quickly to get it removed from my body wherever it might lie. I don't like to use the word fight. I have not fought cancer. I am not a fighter in any way, shape or form. I have tried to visualize chemotherapy killing remaining cancer cells but my mind refuses. Its too violent. I liked the idea of surgery cutting out the cancer cells and then letting them go outside, like a spider. After all, those cancer cells are ME.

I've finished my big cup of tea and now its time to get moving. Hope your day is wonderful. If your child asks you to play today stop everything and play. They will stop asking one day.